Day #50: Dad (100 days gratitude challenge)

Day #50: Dad (100 days gratitude challenge)
A young man knocked on the door of the Santhome house diffidently. He was accompanied by his cousin who was going to do the introduction. This young man was looking for a bride and he was told that in this house there was a suitable bride for him. A young girl opened the door and looked out at the strangers on her doorstep. She distractedly pushed away the strands of hair falling on her face with a hand that was dripping with idli batter. She was maav arichifying (grinding idli batter) and these intruders were disturbing her chores. The young man made up his mind. This was the bride for him.

The year was 1958 and he had come all the way from Goa (then Portugal India) to find himself a bride to start a family. The young man was my father and the girl in question my mom. He was in a hurry and before the formal pon-paaking (bride seeing) he wanted to see and decide for himself. 
He chose to leave his family business in Goa to stay behind with his wife since she could not get travel papers to enter Goa at that time. So he started his own business in Chennai and settled down to raise a family – six children, 3 boys and 3 girls, alternatively.
As you can see the decisions he took in his life was always influenced by the thought that he needs to keep the family together. In his childhood he did not see his father for many years since his father was busy building his business in Goa and the family was fending for itself in Tirunelveli. So instead of tearing the family apart due to business requirements, he chose family over money making.
He has been a colossus influence over me and many of the good and bad traits are imbibed consciously or unconsciously from him. Now when I say good or bad it is purely subjective based on time and situation. Some of what was good then, I realise are bad now and some of what was bad then may look good now.
I’m grateful for what he has taught me and the person that he has made me. I wish he could have lived a little longer since the family needed him as much if not more than he needed us.


Matha, Pitha, Guru, Deiyvom.

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